Sifting through memories on the couch

So, it's been a few days, but honestly it's hard to even gauge the passage of time. I feel....adrift. We've spent this week sitting on the couch falling down the rabbit hole of collecting pictures and watching videos, which was good for bringing on the tears, but I'm pretty drained at this point, and the numbness is starting to set in.

The snow has provided the perfect excuse to bubble with the Eltzroths, who have stayed at our house all week. Every evening we seem to expect the other to be ready for the co-habitation to end, but then we confess to each other that we would like it if they stayed another night. The cacophony from the kids giggling and screaming as they craft and build forts, or the stampede of little feet from all these kids having a remote gym class helps prevent the sadness from becoming overwhelming. I can't thank them enough for all they've done.

Nicole and I have shifted from the helpful distraction of building a website, and have now transitioned to the morbid and mundane busy work of insurance claims, bills, and bank accounts. We've got a nice little Kanban board of post-its going for all the projects and things we want to tackle; we're a couple of self-aware dorks. Andy meanwhile has been an absolute beacon of positivity and compassion, and is at the moment getting a new TV and fixing our fireplace, so we can start our new tradition of Friday "Fire and Wine" movie nights.

This morning I cancelled our month-long trip to Florida, which broke my heart, but I think the kids and I sitting on a beach without her would have broken it more. God I miss her...